The Jackson Family Online

Well I’m off to Peoria this morning. I should be packing right now but am instead sitting at the computer typing. My computer is acting up again…I can tell I’m going to need a visit from Todd L. Got news yesterday that they are having a boy and are going to name him Jackson. Pretty cool! And I love their reasoning behind it. They were not only friends with Mark but are with the girls and I as well and so they wanted a name that we all share. It’s so good to have friends that love you like that!

I will be out of town until Saturday afternoon. My mom will be with the girls and I’m sure they will enjoy the coming snow together. I would type more but my computer is having this time delay thing where I type and then wait for the sentence to come up. So if I continue I’m never going to be ready to catch my ride since I haven’t even packed yet. So…have a great weekend!

Love

Ruth

My mom arrived last night safe and sound into the blustery cold Alton area. I think it had to have been one of the windiest, coldest nights we’ve had this winter. The restaurant we went to for dinner was literally deserted…I think sane people were at home:). Lydia and I watched “The Gospel of John” last night, a DVD I picked up from Family Bookstore. I love the fact that without her even realizing it she literally just had the gospel of John read and acted out to her. Both of the girls had a hard time getting through the crucifixion scenes…which led to a lot of discussion. I’m alright with them feeling uncomfortable at that point…we all should be…but I also want them to understand the joy of Easter morning. It’s hard to understand all of what Jesus did even as an adult but again I’m grateful.

In reading your comments(Eric/Carrie) I was touched this morning and that’s why sometimes the very nature of this blog is hard for me…I get so much more out of life when I hear from you all. Eric I’m so glad you still talk to Mark and I’m so glad you feel the same way I do when we see each other. Sometimes I almost wonder if Mark said to you in his final weeks and months…keep an eye on Ruth and the girls even from afar. If he did…I feel his love and even if he didn’t I still do…simply because he had good enough friends that they still love me and the girls. So I guess either way is a win situation. I hope you guys had a great day at the zoo! The weather couldnt’ have been better…and hopefully the Tiger exhibit worked out alright:). I think all of our kids are a little scared about that whole issue anymore.

Well it’s off to another day…my last day of school this week. Tonight I have small group and need to get packed to head off to Peoria in the morning for a Music Conference that I will be gone to through Saturday afternoon. January is flying by.

Much love to you all,

RUth

IF you haven’t read it you’ve got to read AJ’s poem…I laughed out loud:). So creative. Lydia and I are home today and my is it a windy day!!! The cats are sitting in the window just watching the leaves blow around, lookds like a tornado. I just talked to my mom and she successfully made the transition in the Chicago train station to the train that heads to Alton so it should be smooth riding from their and if the wind is behind them they should be early:). She’s met a lady on the train who has ten kids and they were happily getting to know each other when I called her. Sounds like a good day for my mom.

Lydia and I had fun playing a couple of games this morning…one being Aggravation…a Jackson favorite. We even pulled out Dad’s Lucky Dice. I kid you not Mark had a certain set of red dice that he used. One time when he was on a job site and they were cleaning up these dice were in the wreckage and he literally saved them, cleaned them up and brought them home. They’re a little bigger than regular dice and it was his manly way of standing out when we played, me and the girls loved teasing him about them. I don’t think they are so lucky…I tried playing with them once and lost and then Lydia and I switched and she used them and she lost…but hey it was fun to remember his competitive spirit. Then we watched one of Mark’s favorite movies “Indiana Jones, Raiders of the Lost ark” we were on the edge of our seats…I could do without the snake scenes but it does keep it exciting. Now I’m baking some cookies for when Lauren gets home, seems nice to be able to do a stay at home mom activity like my mom did for my brothers and sisters and I when I was a kid. I’ve been busy plotting out our trip out west. I’ve broken it up into days of driving that are usually between 4-5 hours at the most. WIth days in between with no driving. I’m trying to balance seeing a lot with some relaxation as well. I’m hoping to catch my sister MaryAnne for a week to fly out and be with us for some of our trip and then I think Amy, my sister in law and her oldest Hannah may fly out and hop in for a week or so too. So that will be more fun than just having it always be just us three. We’ll see how that all works out. It will be here before you know it…

Lydia seems to be feeling a little better today, I’m not noticing the temperature thing so hopefully she’ll be back in school tomorrow. I had an incredible headache this morning…I know that is one of the symptoms going around but at this point I feel fine. Thankfully!!

Tonight is back to guitar…and then picking up my mom at 6:22pm. Hope your day has gone well.

Love,

Ruth

P.S. Carrie I am praying for you…just wanted you to know.

Well Lydia still has her fever and it’s bed time…it’s 102 so…I’ve already called in for tomorrow…I really didn’t want to do that as I’m going to be out on Thursday and Friday already, although I have to remind myself I’m out to go to a Music Conference so…I guess that isn’t quite the same. I’m not easy on my kids about staying home…I just can’t afford to be but there comes a point where you realize you have no choice. And since the teacher already sent her homework home for tomorrow I think she knew Lydia wouldn’t be back tomorrow anyway. Lydia is kind hearted enough that she felt bad about me having to take another sick day…was going to try and go along with me tomorrow to school…but their’s just no way that would work out, not when I have nine back to back classes all morning. That would be insanity and I may have blisters on my feet but I’m not totally off the Chizang (that’s Lauren new word…). So…I’ll run around first thing in the morning setting up at each school and then zip home to spend the day with Lydia, it’s a treat to be able to be with her but I do hope she gets feeling better and I’m really glad my mom is coming into town. Hopefully none of the rest of us will get sick. And hopefully you all are healthy, their sure are a lot of viruses going around these days! Wayne called and they have gone home now with Nathan, sounds like everything is going great although he has his nights and days a little mixed up but I think most babies do at the beginning…thankfully Wayne has two weeks off of work so if they need to sleep during the day and be awake at night so be it:). If you could bottle joy and sell it you could go to Wayne’s house and make a million dollars right now…so good to hear him being a proud papa. That’s the way it should be.

I know I’ve relived the last days and weeks of Mark’s life over and over and wrote about them in this blog repeatedly but I have to tell you again today I was thinking it over, especially the last day and the last hours. I was wondering what he was experiencing inside of him in his soul. He didn’t talk about angels or anything else that suggested that he was seeing heaven open before him like some people seem to do. In truth…I again had the memory come to me that regardless of how wonderful he knew heaven would be and he did…he wasn’t in a hurry to go…he was clinging to every moment he could and his love for me and the girls was completely pure. Totally a sacrifice…he was in pain…unbelievable pain and yet he didn’t give up, he hung on and fought, I never knew he had it in him. And although I wonder about angels and heaven opening I think God left me with a really clear picture of Mark’s love for me and the girls on the day he died and maybe I needed that more than I needed to have him talk about the streets of gold. I’m finding that more and more although Mark and I’s love was very normal in many ways with the normal life stresses every couple faces, in many ways it was out of this world, so incredibly pure at the core. Mark and I were each others world for 20 years. And my husband was such a proud papa…his love for his girls so overwhelming…I’m not sure if he even realized how much he loved them but I know his heart was full. When I look back I realize our love was a picture of what love should be, pure and honest, and when everything else is stripped away, the schedules, stuff, goals, dreams, etc. I could’ve lived anywhere and lived in any circumstances as long as Mark was with me. And I know he would’ve said the same for me and the girls.

How in the world then does one even think about their possibly being somebody else someday…what would that look like, how can their be that kind of love in me still to give to another. And yet I crave to not grow old alone, to have a best friend and intimate partner…These two worlds of thought really collide in my heart and mind. And I know at the core of me I have no way of knowing the answers any more than I know why Mark died in the first place. I just keep telling myself if and when something ever does happen someday and a new relationship is able to jump all of the obstacles….it will have to be an absolutely divine moment and relationship. I’m not saying it’s impossible but I have to admit it seems highly improbably at the moment. Thankfully…our God is a God who declares “Nothing is impossible with me.” So…it all remains to be seen. It is a comfort to know that GOd has guarded my thoughts and memories and given me just what I needed to have in those final days and weeks to be able to draw a lot of strength and love from and I’m grateful. It’s good to be able to wrap Mark’s love around me even today…would love it if it was with skin on but…I’ll try not to be too choosy.

Anyway…

RUth

Another Monday has rolled around…I decided to multitask on my lunch break so I colored my hair, walked on the treadmill and ate lunch…the only snag was when a package came to the door and I had to make a quick dive off the treadmill to the hallway so the man wouldn’t see me…I was quite a sight. By the time I was getting ready to head back to school Lydia’s school called…she was in the nurse’s office with a temperature of 101.8 so….I picked her up and she came with me to my last two classes of the day. It was one of those moments where I wish I was a stay at home mom but we made it and she seemed to do fine after I gave her some tylenol. Hopefully tomorrow she’ll be able to go back to school and after that my mom will be here so if she needs to be off or Lauren gets sick they can stay home with her.

My mom will be on the Amtrak tomorrow by 5:30am…Illinois time and will travel for about 12 hours with a layover in Chicago. I’m looking forward to her visit. We’ve gotten several sewing projects for her while she’s here:). Lauren calls her our sewing superhero. The kids are happy they will be able to come right home after school, they enjoy the linke family but you know how it is, it’s always nice to just be able to come home after school.

This afternoon the carpet squares came into Lowes so I carpeted a good part of the basement tonight, it was amazing how easy it was and it looks pretty good…I think I’m going to need to get some more but it was a good start. There’s definitely a market for remodeling stuff that us single women can handle and I would rate these carpet squares right up there for ease of installation.

Oh by the way during my treadmill experience I tested something out for you all…never walk on the treadmill barefoot…I thought my feet were  hurting a little but I was in a groove…only later did I realize I now have blisters on my feet. That’s called insanity or Ruth…the two terms are occasionally interchangeable.

Well the girls and I are settling in to watch a movie “Milo and Otis” and we’re winding down for the night. Hopefully Lydia will be feeling up to par by the morning. Otherwise no real big news.

Hope your day was great!

Love,

Ruth

ON a quick note about this blog…I have to tell you when I write at the computer their are usually things going on in the background of my home just like their is in your home and so often I’m sure words end up misspelled, contraction markings not in the right place etc. Sometimes I go back and proofread and sometimes I don’t and sometimes I just figure it’s not like I’m writing a published work here. I’ve had comments made to me generally in jest about sometimes I include last name initials…I have no idea why except that I have no idea who all reads this and I guess it’s either out of habit or just trying to clarify. I am confident that I have misspelled words and names probably almost daily…and while I regret that I misspelled Kristi and Bryan’s names the truth is that I work in a school where I have to keep more names straight than you can imagine unless you are a fellow music teacher. I’m thrilled when I can call my students by their first names and get it right. Some names have many spellings and I’m sure that I should know the spellings of friends and family correctly and I apologize if I spell your name wrong …feel free to correct me but also…please see this blog for what it is…basically a diary entry. I don’t have the time or effort ot make it a published work at this time in my life…so therefore if you can look over my errors, correct me when I really screw up a spelling and give me grace I will appreciate it. Thank you to those of you who are sharing what you would like to have prayed for…it’s a connection point for me to connect with what is going on in your lives. It is my blog but…sometimes I hate the nature of it…it seems so one sided. Hope your Monday is going well:).

And Leigh Ann…I do thank you for clueing me in…as soon as I saw the spelling you gave me I knew I should’ve known that but for whatever reason I typed it the wrong way. SOunds like you’re a good friend to Wayne and Kristy…enjoy holding their newborn baby for me o.k.

Love,

Ruth

We talked about Evangelism tonight at church and it got me to thinking which is always good:)…I’m going to ask you to specifically pray for Stacy, Jerrod, Gracey and Gabby this week, along with Jennifer, Tim, Scott and Brittany. These are two families that the girls and I are having a lot of contact with. Families that are unchurched or went to church way back when, they are all seeking and the wives and children have been to morning church but so far the husbands have not come. I’m having increasing opportunity to share with them and trying to develop relationships that take time which I tend to have little of.  I just want to make sure that these two families that God has placed into my life are having every opportunity to draw closer to God if I can help it. That takes a lot of persistence on my end…it gets hard to ask them to church every weekend but truthfully I think that is what it’s going to take. It also takes me sensing God’s clear leading as to know how far to go in our conversations. I am ready willing and able to present the plan of salvation but want to make sure I’m not pushing it. God is the one who does the saving and I want to make sure He’s in charge here. I’m excited…and would just like to have these two families prayed over. Thank you in advance.
I want to also ask you to pray about the singles Valentine Ladies Dinner. The invitations go out this week and this is something that has never been done at our church before and I have no idea who needs this event or would benefit from it but I’m praying that they would be drawn to RSVP and desire to come. We’ve even invited the single ladies from Emmanuel FM as well and I know AJ is inviting a few others she knows so…I’m just asking for prayer for these ladies. I believe that God wants to pour out love on these ladies, love that only He can give to soothe painful hurts, losses, experiences in life. Please pray for AJ and I as we prepare short words to speak…we both want to be open and speak what God would want us to say and nothing more.

I would also ask that you pray for me this weekend as I go to the IMEA conference in Peoria IL with several other music teachers in the ALton Public School District. I believe that not only will I receive great new ideas and learn a great deal as a music teacher but I will also have unprecedented time with those who I work with. While most are Christians, I dont’ think all are and regardless I’m praying that this time will be quality time and whatever conversations I have would honor God, that’s what I want to be about. I’m riding up for the 3-4 hour journey with a fellow Elementary teacher who has experienced loss of her daughter dying from cancer so we have a lot of common ground…the only thing is she doesn’t want to have anything to do with God. WE’ve had some good discussions from the past and I just want to be really sensitive to the fact that if God wants me to say something that I would say it and otherwise not to push it with her.

Please pray for Amy K. and I as we also get ready to go to San Antonio TX in 11 days for the National WOmen of Faith conference with four other ladies from our church. I’m excited about the trip. Time with a good friend, time to hear awesome music and speakers and to be in a whole new surroundings. Please pray for our safety in traveling and that we wouldn’t have any problems in making our flights, getting to our hotel etc. I know it sounds trivial but as a woman that’s the kind of stuff that can be a little stressful. Please pray that Amy and I would hear GOd’s voice clearly and that this would be a time of refreshing for both of us. Amy leads our children’s area at The Bridge and if anyone needs refreshment and a break she does…it’s no easy job back there and I’m praying that this trip is living water for her soul.

Please pray for my mom as she travels down to our home via Amtrak on Tuesday all day long and then as she helps me around the house with the kids while I’m out of town. This involves driving my car to unfamiliar places, etc. and two weeks away from home. While I know she enjoys the visit and we enjoy her coming I also know she might get a little lonesome for home. Please pray that the girls and I will have some really awesome time with my mom in the next two weeks.

Please pray for my girls. There’s no other way to say it except to say that they crave a dad. WIsh I could just go pick one out at a store to fill in the gap but obviously that’s not how it works…I have no easy answers here and it hurts to see the holes they experience in their lives without Mark. I grieve daily that they are not witnessing the love that Mark and I had in our marriage daily, in fact I grieve the fact that our love for each other is probably just a dim memory to them.

Please pray for me…I’m with the girls…I crave a best friend, a man who loves me and loves God. I’m not in a hurry, not desperate and won’t satisfy for anything that isn’t from God but I have to admit I’m struggling a little in this area…

Please pray for my church, THe Bridge…we are moving out of our location within the next month or so and need some very clear direction and provision to continue moving forward. Pray that Pastor Ben, Pastor Scott, and the board and others who are involved will clearly sense God’s presence and stay encouraged. Setting up and tearing down each week is no easy thing, it’s doable and we will do it but still it’s not something that we want to do long term.

I didn’t realize I was going to make this long of a list of prayer requests when I started but they just started coming out as I was typing. Their are so many opportunities all around me to witness and to help draw others closer to God. I don’t want to miss out on living in wild abandon for God.

If you have certain things you would like me to be praying for as well please leave a comment and I will bring your requests to God as well.

Good night,

Ruth

 

What an absolutely beautiful day today is!! Was so nice to be able to pull out my sandals and wear them barefoot and feel comfortable. And this afternoon to be able to go around in my yard and cut back all the dead stuff, fill the bird feeders, etc. was so wonderful. I even have my front door open at the moment out to our porch which the cats are loving. These days here and there through the winter are what helps me get through til spring! I can’t wait to see my plants come back up to see how much they grow. The girls have enjoyed playing on the trampoline and are now back in the basement rollar blading around.

This morning’s service was good. I’m not a huge football fan but the Wash U football coach came to our church today and did an interview with Ben that was excellent. And then Ben talked about sacrifice..something that’s been on my mind lately. Mark used to go around saying “Equal sacrifice, not equal gifts”…I’m pretty sure he got that from a fundraiser event at Clio when we were there. And it’s true, I can give out of plenty and it can seem huge but in truth I think God has been most honored when I’ve given out of the little I had at the time. The whole widow’s mite principle. He talked about what are you holding onto with two hands that needs to be let go…that’s always an interesting thing to consider. I’m trying to live my life with open hands but I have to say the whole idea of their being someone for me someday is an easy thing for me to try and grasp onto with two hands…and I know at the end of the day I’ve just got to let it go and trust God. (Truthfully, I guess I should say at the Beginning of the day…)

I was reading more in the Mere Christianity book this morning and it’s really given me some new thoughts…

“there are no ordinary people, it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit. Once we tune ourselves to this reality, we open ourselves to imaginatively transform our lives in such a way that evil diminishes and good prevails. It is what Christ asked of us in taking on our humanity, sanctifying our flesh, and asking us in turn to reveal God to one another.”

“The Christian thinks any good he does comes from the Christ-life inside him. He does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us.”

“For many of us the great obstacle to charity lies not in our luxurious living or desire for more money, but in our fear-fear of insecurity. This must often be recognised as a temptation. Sometimes our pride also hinders our charity, we are tempted to spend more than we ought on the showy form of generosity (tipping, hospitality) and less than we ought on those who really need our help.”

“I may repeat ‘Do as you would be done by’ till I am black in the face, but I cannot really carry it out till I love my neighbour as myself, and I cannot learn to love my neighbour as myself till I learn to love God, and I cannot learn to love God except by learning to obey Him.”

“What we call ‘being in love’ is a glorious state, and in several ways good for us. It helps to make us generous and courageous, it opens our eyes not only to the beauty of the beloved but to all beauty. Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Ceasing to be ‘in love’ need not mean ceasing to love. Love is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit, reinforced by the grace which both partners ask, and receive, from God. ‘Being in love’ first moved them to promise fidelity, this quieter love enables them to keep the promise.” “The male and the female, were made to be combined together in pairs, not simply on the sexual level, but totally combined.”

Interesting thoughts…I don’t tend to read this kind of book often enough probably, it’s amazing to me how much C.S. Lewis has thought out the basic beliefs and philosophy of the Christian faith. I’m just not that much of a thinker, more of a feeler…but it does challenge me to want to think more.

Anyway…my neighbor Stacy did come again with her girls and we went and ate Chinese together after church. I think the time is fast approaching when I want to ask her about accepting Jesus into her life. I’m just waiting for God’s leading, but I’m available and ready. It was great to see Eric Bruder today and Isaiah and my girls were so happy to see him…shows me again how much they miss their dad. Eric and Mark just had a unique connection.

So…here goes another week, It will be a full one with my mom coming in on Tuesday and me going to a music conference on Thursday, Friday and Saturday in Peoria. But it should be a good one. And the good news is that it’s almost February…getting closer to spring all the time. For some reason Lydia is feeling a little under the weather again, with a little bit of a fever, I can’t figure it out…it seems like she’s sick for a couple of days, I think it’s gone and then a few days later it kind of comes back. She’s laying down right now, I’m not sure if we’ll go to night church or not…I’ll see how she’s doing. Thankfully Lauren seems to be staying healthy.

Hope you had a great weekend and were able to enjoy the nice weather as well!

Love,

Ruth

Wayne (at least I think it was Wayne) sent me a picture of Nathan on my phone which was incredible…I’ve never gotten a picture sent to me on my phone before and to have it be a precious little nephew…well that was perfect. He’s adorable!

O.K. I admit it I’m a complete moron…in my last post I forgot to write that Wayne and Christy had their baby boy tonight…Nathan Mark Jackson, 8 lbs, 15oz. (I think that’s the exact birth weight) and while I thought he might have red hair it sound like it’s blonde…so we’ll see. They are pretty wiped out after an all night long process (I know for many of you…been their done that so you can sympathize with their pain and exhaustion). Wayne is definitely one proud papa as he should be and I love the way he talked about watching Christy go through the labor and delivery…what a bonding experience for a husband and wife! So big congratulations to Wayne and Christy and for those of you who see them at New Covenant or just because you live in Michigan enjoy watching their new baby grow…I have to go by pictures…So good to have new life…what a miracle!

Ruth (Aunt Ruth to Nathan:) Brian too:)

It’s been a full weekend so far. Last night I ended up taking six girls to the ice skating rink which was another time when I was glad to have a large vehicle. Two of the girls spent the night…This morning was piano and then the girls and I went to Edwardsville and hung out until a wedding this afternoon. We went to Borders…that seems to be our new hang out spot in Edwardsville when we have a little time on our hands. I picked up a couple more maps for our trip out west…I’m really starting to look forward to that trip. I also picked up a book that I have known about for a long time now but for whatever reason I have never read Mere Christianity by C. S. Lewis. I read the first chapter while I was at the store and knew I was hooked. I need to be challenged to think some new thoughts so…I’m sure a few of those quotes will show up on this blog. I also picked up a book about a girl who was raised in a Jewish/Southern Baptist parenting home and it’s her memoir about how she met God (She became a Christian)…I’m curious to see how her Jewish upbringing intermeshes with her Christian beliefs today. Anyway…I’ve got some good reading material and also some fun reads for no other reason than just to be amused I guess. I generally am reading four or five books at a time…I keep them here and there and pick them up when I’m waiting in the car, in bed at night, in my easy chair, etc.

As Christians we rejoice with those who rejoice and today as I went to a wedding that was my goal. It was a wedding between a man who has never been married and a single woman with three kids. I’m happy that they have found love and each other. But truthfully even after four weddings now since Mark died, weddings are just incredibly hard for me and my kids to go to. It’s fun to be with friends but…their are just way to many moments when the loss we have is highlighted and almost at times feels like it’s screaming at us. In the ceremony Pastor Scott sang God Bless the Broken Road and did a great job and Lydia rarely every breaks down about her dad but she came walking down the aisle to me just silently sobbing and said “I miss dad” I think it was especially hard for the girls today because they could relate to the girls who now have a new “dad” or at least a man who loves and will be there for them. They would so like to have that hole filled in our lives. And truthfully I can’t blame them…I feel the same way. All three of us know we don’t want to have just anybody…we’re not desperate…but we sure would like to have that person God wants to bring into our lives come along. Lydia and I just left the ceremony and waited it out in the lobby. We went on to the reception which of course involved several more moments that highlight dads and daughters and husbands and wives…all of this natural and to be expected but incredibly painful when you know that you had that in your life but for whatever reason you don’t anymore and it was totally out of your control. Occasionally a man will try and stand in for the girls and I’m grateful but it is such an emotional thing for the girls and when all the couples took the floor tonight I knew it was time for me to leave. I can only take so much. The funny thing is that Mark and I never really danced together anyway, dancing was against my upbringing when I was a teenager and as we grew older it was just something that Mark never felt comfortable with and we were rarely in the situation where it was asked of us, still…the fact that it’s not an option grates me. There’s something about seeing all the men dressed up in their suits that kills me. My husband was a handsome man in my eyes in a suit and I have incredibly good memories that come back to make me miss him all the more. The feel of a suit jacket, the smell of aftershave, the look in his eye when he looked at me all dressed up, the protective touch that let me know I was his woman, I’ll tell you the truth today I didn’t even wear a dress…I didn’t look terrible but truthfully it wasn’t worth it to me, I’ve never done that before. I had to follow someone to get to the reception…didn’t have a clue of where it was, until we pulled into the neighborhood and then all I could think of was the time I had to meet Mark in that same neighborhood while he was working for Pride while he was working on a house. I almost expected to see the van and him in his uniform as I rounded the bend. When we left I hoped I could remember how to get out of the winding neighborhood to get home and when I did without a single time of having to turn around I told Lauren that was worth praising God over right there. But I have to tell you I hate the fact that I have to even deal with it all. I never had to when Mark was alive. I so miss the shelter of his love and care for me. And I’m not saying all of this to make you feel sorry for me….But honestly…by the time the girls and I got in the car to go home tonight we were all raw emotionally. I find myself wondering if their will ever be a day when I will experience that kind of love again. My girls ask me if they can be in my wedding someday if I ever remarry. Man…who knows what the future holds…I  have nobody on the line at the moment…and I’m trying to thrive as a single and doing well but I dont’ know of any single person who if the right person came along they wouldn’t go for it in a heart beat. We were made to do life together…plain and simple. I found myself praying for Andy and Cheryl today as they married and I found myself throwing my heart and it’s desires out to God and laying them at His feet repeatedly in my mind. I have to keep hope alive, I have to believe my best days are yet to come. Sometimes that’s just hard on days like today…

However…I can tell you right now if and when I do ever get married again and you come to my wedding you might as well know my day will not be like any traditional day you’ve ever seen…If and when it comes their will be some major worship time going on, and it will be casual…maybe even barefoot:), no fancy food…a cookout would be just fine for me…no fancy flowers…maybe even just cut some out of my own garden:). And I guarantee that if you’re there it won’t be an unemotional event so you might as well bring the tissue box:). In the mean time…I wait on the Lord…

Tomorrow Eric Bruder is popping in to the Bridge which will be nice, always nice to see him and his family. And also my neighbor Stacy with the twin girls is coming so that makes three times…I think she’s getting attached which is exciting. No big plans other than church…should be a nice day and the weather is supposed to be beautiful.

Hope your weekend is going well.

Love,

RUth