The Jackson Family Online

God has a funny way of using things when we least expect them to speak to us…at least that’s the way it is for me…so imagine my surprise after blogging about my team teacher to walk in after lunch to Mark Schultz blaring through the speakers in my classroom. She likes to play music at the beginning of each class and that’s fine with me…so far her tastes haven’t leaned to Christian music and we do teach in a public school setting so…I was a little surprised to hear Mark Schultz…but the song playing was called “When You Get Home…” or something like that. It’s a song I’ve heard before but one we tend to skip when we’re listening on the ipod at our house…we tend to skip his sad songs…but today when I was listening to the words I just had a strange sense that the song was played just for me. It sounded like a promise from God and Mark…a promise of love waiting for me when I get home. One time when Mark was on a road trip away for a week or two he brought me home a candle for a gift. The scent, color of the candle is not what drew him to buy it for me…the name on the candle is why he bought it…it was called “home”…he told me that he missed me…when he was with me he felt at “home”…so when I heard that song today in my classroom, unexpectedly…I knew it was a God thing…just a subtle way of God encouraging me and reminding me of the love that awaits me whether I see and feel it today or not…our love isn’t diminishing even if my memories are not as clear as I might like…in fact over the distance I would have to say I have a feeling our love is only growing….made me looking forward all the more for “when I get home…”. And Lori…your picture you gave me just seems like the icing on the cake…for the whole “Home” theme:).

Just wanted you to know…God is good…

Love,

Ruth

Sunday we were talking in my S. School class about the fact that when you have toddlers you can use fear to motivate…when you have high schoolers you can use some reasoning but when you have middle schoolers neither fear or reasoning tends to work:)…that’ my job everyday, working with middle schoolers. And amazingly enough I generally love what I do and who I’m around each day. I find with middle school that it’s all about relationship. And that’s something that I’m all about. Today I’m listening to each individual student in 75-85 person choirs for a singing quiz while my team teacher is leading. She’s pretty new to teaching and has all of the normal attributes that a new teacher has…kind of like adults who criticize parents but they don’t have children themselves. It’s a scary place to be…because those kind of judgements tend to come around and bite us later. So…I’m finding that God obviously thinks I have what it takes to handle not only my middle schoolers this year and my own two kids but also to handle teaching with a young, new, teacher. She hasn’t figured out that people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care along with a multitude of other basic life lessons. And while I would like to occasionally just say directly those kind of things…I’m realizing that I need to gently mentor her along…somedays I feel better about that then others. God’s put her in my life for a reason…so I’m trying to be patient.

My girls gave me a couple of wonderful gifts last night…big thanks lori!! Two gift cards to Borders…they know I love to read and we’ve already decided that will be our Friday night activity this week because they love going there too. And Lydia gave me some fake flowers in a vase, that doesn’t sound as cool as it looks but just picture something nice, tasteful and something I would’ve never picked out but I love it and it looks great in our sunroom. And Lauren picked out a glass picture that is made up of various squares, designs etc. that I need to hang in front of one of the windows in our sunroom. The only problem is that I want to hang it in front of the window that is over our stairway which could be a real challenge. I was looking at it this morning and decided I might need to call in reinforcements or I might actually break a leg and that would be really embarrassing and uncomfortable to have to deal with:). But it is going to be beautiful once it’s up as the sun comes right through that window in the morning. Lori gave me a picture that says the word “Home” a house is made with walls and beams a home is built with love and dreams. She obviously knows me well as that sentiment is important to me as I try to make a home for me and my girls. It’s already hanging in my kitchen:). I’ve also gotten a few cards which are always a nice surprise:). The truth is it’s not like it’s a different day from the rest…but any cause to show love, and to feel special is worth celebrating don’t you think? I found myself asking God today to give me some special moment where I feel Mark’s love for me. Maybe that sounds crazy, selfish, etc. but I’ve seen God do it in the past and I know He can today as well. So…I’m expectant…waiting to see what God will do and if nothing does occur…my faith is secure anyway. Who knows what heaven is like…I know Mark is busy and God surely has bigger concerns but then again He does know the number of hairs on my head so…I know He is able.

On Sunday one of the verses used in worship was Isaiah 54:10…it spoke to me greatly. I’ll leave you curious to look it up for yourself to understand why…who knows maybe it will speak to you too. Actually I read the whole chapter later in the day and it’s all good…so go ahead and check it out:).

Hope your Tuesday is wonderful, it’s nice to have the sun out again. Tonight is our night where the girls are busy, mainly Lauren…musical practice, and swimming and Lydia has poms. For me…no big plans which is fine by me. I may just take some time to read a good book. I’ve been reading Tamara Alexander’s books and absolutely love them!! They are Christian based…so no guilt involved…but full of humor, adventure and romance…what more could you ask for:).

Love,

Ruth

Monday’s sure are hard. And today has been a wet/grey Monday. I did close my windows though…so no rain inside today!! We started a fundraiser today for my 7/8th grade choirs so that made for a fairly easy day for me class wise. I’m just getting ready to take the girls to their music lessons and then we are going out to eat with Lori for dinner to celebrate my birthday a day early. Tomorrow night’s activities were just a little too crazy to try and do it then. So I’m looking forward to a nice evening, good food, and relaxation and an early to bed. My gift to myself was a pedicure appointment I made for Wednesday after school. Can’t wait and it gives me something in the middle of my week to enjoy. It’s supposed to cool off starting tomorrow…I’m ready to pull out some sweatshirts, looking forward to some fall weather. The girls and I are already looking forward to going to the Orchard on Columbus Day.

Hope your day was great!

Last day of being 37 for me…not a big deal really…who knows maybe when I hit the big 40. I doubt it will be a big deal then either:).

Love,

Ruth

Last night the girls and I had a bit of a trauma. I went to charge Mark’s old ipod and discovered that somehow in the past couple of days someone must have dropped it on accident or something because the charging area was dented. While I know it’s just a machine and it’s not as if we lost the music or anything it still felt fairly traumatic. I guess it just seemed like one of those special possessions that I Had that I knew Mark had painstakingly set up for us to enjoy. Emotions were running high and I have a feeling it had a lot more to do with missing Mark than an ipod but that’s the form it took. By this morning some reasoning had returned and I was able to talk with Todd Linke about the problem, found out what to get to replace it, went and picked it up at Target, actually figured out how to sync all of our music back on to it and wala, tonight we have “Mark’s ipod” back…o.k. it doesn’t look quite the same but close enough. Music was such a big part of who Mark was and it was always a deep connection between us…in fact I can tell you our first conversation ever was a conversation about Amy Grant (we’re talking back in the 80’s:). Anyway, it’s all good…

Today has been a good but very full day!! We went to church this morning and finished out the teenage parenting  class…I’ve really enjoyed that class. Feel like there is so much more I still need and want to learn…Then we came home for an hour or two and then went to Bethalto for the “Tunes on the Tarmac” event which included all kinds of blow up jumping things and concerts all literally at the airport. It was a fairly hot day today and we were directly in the sun but by the night concert the weather was perfect. We were able to take Maddie to church this morning with us and then Maddie and Brittany (friends of Lauren’s) went with us to the Tunes on the Tarmac event which was great. I’m thankful that we are being used in that way. Heard a new group tonight called “Rush of Fools” and they were pretty good and Big Daddy Weave was great…I love their style and message. We just got home and now we’re ready to collapse and hopefully make it through another week. I try not to dread Monday’s…but wow that sure is a challenge! The good thing this week is that on Friday Lydia and I are taking a field trip together to Springfield, IL. I’m looking forward to spending the day with her.

I’ve been thinking more and more about the ladies retreat, still brainstorming I guess, found myself thinking about cars…the vehicles that I grew up with, and every vehicle sense and how they have represented my journey through life in more ways than I even realized at the time. Kind of funny to think about all of the vehicles I’ve had in my family over the years and experiences related with vehicles breaking down, accidents, etc. With the whole theme of “Detours” I guess it’s just got my mind thinking through everything related with the road. I would love to have a few pictures or power point slides of some of the vehicles that have been in my family in the past…a picture is worth a thousand words after all:). We’ll see, I know God is stirring up thoughts inside of me so hopefully in the next week or two I can start to actually make up some kind of outline. It will be here before you know it…one month away! I can’t wait to get together with my sisters and mom for a night away. I mean how many times do we women get a chance to get away from our homes, jobs, kids, spouses, etc. and just be women…not many. I have a feeling we could be up late that night:).

Well…off to bed with me. It’s been quite the technology weekend for me between getting a new ipod and a different cell phone…and technology is not my bag…but I’m making it.

Hope your weekend was great!

Love,

Ruth

Got my mail today and had something kind of funny in it…I received the “Dorothy Davidson Pride Eye Award” from my community for 2008. And a “congratulations and thanks for keeping your property neat and attractive”. My girls asked…”So what did you win…” which was kind of funny because it was just a note printed on a piece of cardstock…but I told them it was the good feeling of knowing that my work and effort have paid off and people do notice that our house looks nice and inviting as they go by. It’s good to know that my yard helps to show God’s beauty and that I get to be a part of that. I’ve never before been a “Pride Eye Award” winner but I would like to thank…(just kidding:).  O.k. now back to the housework.

Love,

Ruth

Hope your weekend is going well. Last night I surprised the girls and took them on a mystery trip…it wasn’t anything grand but we went over to James town and took in a movie called “Long shot” about a girl football player, it was kind of fun and silly as we were the only three in the movie theater and it was the kind of movie you wanted to stand up and cheer a few times so…we did since it was just us. Then we went to the local Tmobile store…the girls always love going to cell phone stores…NOT! But I needed to ask some questions about Lauren’s phone (it is her’s now as she did make it through the whole New Testament!!) and then I decided to upgrade mine, so now she and I have the same phone…I just have to tell you a little funny about myself. I can’t believe how capable I can be on one hand…I mean I’ve spearheaded a major addition on my house, done major traveling, teach, etc. and yet for the first month we were using Lauren’s phone we were holding it upside down and never knew. I told the lady at the counter I wasn’t sure why but for some reason it was always difficult to hear on Lauren’s phone, she showed me the volume which I already knew about but then when I explained how we were holding it the problem became clear. I just had to laugh…Mark would’ve been shaking his head big time. It’s amazing how clear the sound is now:). Isn’t life funny in moments. Can’t take myself to seriously that’s for sure!

Today we are off to lessons and then it’s time to clean house. Should be a great day! The weather is beautiful and Lydia is looking forward to her birthday party tonight, Lauren and I are going to go for a bike ride on the trail by the Mississippi River tonight while she’s gone, haven’t done that in a long time and am looking forward to it.

Have a great day!

Love,

Ruth

Happy Thursday!

No real big news today really…normal school stuff, Lauren had musical practice and swimming and then we all sat around for awhile tonight just reading, after the homework and music lessons had been practiced. Our tv turns on so rarely anymore…I would just rather curl up with a good book.

Interesting conversations lately with my girls…somehow I got talking to them about what they think they would say about me at my funeral…I know that sounds morbid but I was just curious to see how they would describe me if I wasn’t around to hear it…Lauren said “She was crazy but lived life to the full.” I just had to chuckle…and then later on I asked Lydia the same question in some form or another and she said almost exactly the same thing using the word about me being “crazy”. So I asked the girls what they meant by crazy…I mean is that a good crazy or bad…and I discovered that they’ve started to realize that I take them places, and we do things, and take on projects around here that most mom’s probably wouldn’t do…and even though things feel a little crazy at times it appears from their perspective it’s a good crazy. So…I’m good with that:). I have a feeling Mark would’ve said the same thing about me…so it’s not a widow kind of thing, I think I’m just a crazy woman at heart and always have been. Was interesting to talk to the girls about what they think would be said about them. Sad in some ways as they both said things that weren’t positive…admittedly they are in the phase of life when they’re trying to figure out who they are…and not always thinking they measure up. Lauren said she thinks people would say “She was quiet.” I told Lauren their is so much more that would better describe you…somehow she thinks that since she’s not a big talker with her friends or at school that she’s not cool…but what a good listener she is and how rare is that in today’s youth!! I told her she’s beautiful inside and out and frequently others tell me the same thing about her. She’s loyal, responsible, kind, smart and down right witty and fun to be with. Lydia said something about people saying “she’s not outgoing”…their really is something in our culture that I guess to be popular or well liked it’s assumed that you must be talkative and outgoing. I told Lydia…she is beautiful too…she has so much spunk and life, literally a sparkle in her eye from the time she was born practically. And she so deeply cares for others…she’s invited to a birthday party this weekend and before I realized she was doing it she asked the girl if her sister could come too…she didn’t want Lauren to be left out. Sometimes I guess it’s just interesting to see how we would describe ourselves and it’s a wonderful gift to give those kind words to someone else long before a funeral occurs. I was grateful that Mark had a chance to read all of your letters to him before he died. And I’ll never forget him sitting by me in our two person chair after we watched it all on our TV and him looking me in the eye and saying “I guess I did make a difference.” I guess up to that point it was in question…but at that point he felt like he had finished the race well. That’s a gift for him and for his family.

Tomorrow is Friday…woohoo!! No big plans for tomorrow except that I might work in my flower beds a little if I feel like it. Saturday the normal lesson thing and Lydia has a birthday party in the evening, I think Lauren and I may just spend some time together. On Sunday we have a full day of church, bridal shower and then we are going to Bethalto for the Big Daddy Weave concert at the airport with the youth, should be fun.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend, and thank you to those of you who gave me advice on the whole beach rental thing…I’m looking forward to seeing where God ends up having us go:).

Love,

Ruth

It’s been a very full day. Wednesday is my biggest day at school and that all seemed to go fine for the most part. And tonight I’ve worked hard at listening to all of the girls lessons…most of the time I let them monitor their progress themselves but everyonce in awhile I check in and see how it’s going. So that led to a few stressful moments but Lydia is doing very well on her violen and piano and Lauren is a wonderful drummer, rhythm comes so naturally for her…the piano is more of a struggle…but she’s not ready to pitch it yet…so even though it can get ugly from time to time we keep plugging along. I’m paying for piano lessons this year…from Halpin, I know I may be a little critical on the piano front but so far I’m less than impressed…so I have a feeling that I will be sitting in on a lesson or two in the coming weeks…sometimes us parents need to apply a little pressure at the right areas and as a music teacher this is one of those times I can tell.

Anyway…last night I was able to make some reservations for some future plans so that is exciting and fun. I made our reservations for Branson over THanksgiving to have fun and hook up with my sister Becky and also Lydia’s birthday trip to Chicago over a part of our CHristmas vacation with Grandma J. and Sadie. We’re amtraking from Flint to Chicago and staying downtown for two nights and having lunch at the American Girl Store…so it should be fun and memorable for her 10 year old event.

Next summer I’m interested in renting a beach rental somewhere in North Carolina or South Carolina for a couple of weeks but it’s kind of hard to try and figure out what beach is best, or to know what house to go for…having not been their much before…I guess I’m just a little clueless about the multitude of listings on google…Any of you have any advice? No big hurry but figured I should at least start thinking about making the reservations.

Anyway…it’s a hot one here tonight…still feels like summer and truthfully I’m more than ready for fall. Anita you didn’t miss my birthday…it’s on the 30th. But thank you for the Happy B-day wish. We celebrated early with my parents while they were in town.

Hope your day was great!

Love,

Ruth

 O.k. so today I decided to post the ouside view of our house…this is down the left side of our house as you are looking at it from the street. I got a little flower crazy this year…not me right?!?

 This is the view from the back of our house. The top windows are from the sunroom that I posted pictures of yesterday, the bottom walk out basement door goes into my bedroom/bathroom area.

This is the view of the front of my house…more flowers…

 This is the view of the right side of my house looking on from the street.

 And this is just a bonus picture:). I brought back a sequoia tree when we were out west and here it is growing and alive…hope I can keep it alive. Who knows maybe a thousand years from now their might be a giant tree in Alton IL:).

We had a really nice visit with my mom and dad and niece, too short but had to remind ourselves that something is better than nothing. They took me out for dinner for my birthday and we brought so much home from that meal I already have dinner for tonight…which is nice! Courtney enjoyed getting in the hot tub with the girls last night and I enjoyed showing my mom around my home now that it’s done and just visiting with them. My mom watered my flowers this morning before she left…I love her…she always comes in with a “how can I help” attitude and although I always try to have the house at a place where we can just relax…I do appreciate that since I didn’t get to the watering last night she did it before they left this morning. Courtney was eager to get to her mom and dad after being away for two months. And I’ve already called my parents and they’ve arrived at my sister Becky’s house safe and sound. If they can get us six kids spaced out enough they could have lodging in several locations for their vacations…just kidding…they don’t want us to spread out too much:).

I appreciated my dad’s counsel last night, I was talking about something that had bothered me and truthfully it wasn’t right and it would bother anybody but after he listened and expressed understanding, he directed me right back to thinking about the positive and how even though I had experienced something unfair…God was already making it turn out for His good…and it’s funny after he said that I was able to look at the situation differently and although I wasn’t bitter before, I did feel a little unsettled about the whole thing and by talking with my dad I was able to put that at rest and go to bed last night knowing that I didn’t need to talk about it anymore. Just needed to let it go. My parents are such a big part of why I have the faith I have and the person I am and I have to admit…I got lucky…I have wonderful parents, I do believe that more than luck is involved there but you know what I mean. I had an opportunity to thank my parents again for the piano lessons, that sacrifice alone on their part weekly for years has changed my life…given me a career. I’m grateful and want to do the same for my kids…so on that note, Lauren is at musical practice, I’m about to get off the computer and listen to Lydia play violen and piano and then I run Lauren to swim lessons and Lydia to dance. Tuesday nights are full…but good.

Hope your day was great.

After ten years of teaching I’m finding that I have more and more opportunities to build into kids lives in a life changing way…I’m not just about music and the kids know that, today I got a thank you email from a parent that was a great encouragement…and the music today… well we worked hard and it sounded good…I love those moments when you can feel it all come together.

Love,

Ruth

Sorry I should’ve put this on my last entry…but I feel like maybe I should put a disclaimer on something…I am very open about my girls and I…the ups and downs, the frustrations and joys. Please always know that no matter how over the edge I might be at the time, and admittedly I can go there…I love my girls completely and know that they are the cream of the crop. They would never act up at school, church, at a guest’s home, etc. They understand how to behave and they know that I have a high standard for them. And truthfully they know that Mark’s standard was high. If anything is going to hit the fan it’s going to be at home, and truthfully that’s where I would want it to be if needed. So…I’m like a lot of you who get awesome reports about your kids everywhere and then the whole time you’re driving someplace they’re at each other in the car, etc. It’s normal stuff. I think for me…throw in the single parenting issue, and the fact that I don’t have any grandparents around and that adds to it. I never set up babysitters anymore…just don’t feel that I have a whole lot of options in that area…everyone is busy…You know how it is. And sometimes between teaching all day, etc. my tank can be pretty empty.

All that said…we’re making it and thankfully parenting for me doesn’t have to be neat and tidy. As long as my girls know that I love them beyond the shadow of a doubt that’s good with me.

Parenting isn’t for the faint of heart:).

Ruth