The Jackson Family Online

Just woke up from a Sunday nap, even though my kids are 11 and 12 they still take them every week too, especially when we have to go in for both services on a Sunday morning. We had the wonderful experience this morning of having friends show up to church that we had invited in passing but didn’t know if they would ever come or not…the group of friends included three adults and five kids, all kids that I teach at school and friends that Lauren has been good friends with for a long time now. It’s funny how when you have someone show up to church that you really want to feel welcomed and loved it becomes a gift when other Christians step forwrad and introduce themselves all without any actual ministry or organization. My church excells in this area, it feels natural, seems comfortable and not forced and I got to watch it from the stage today. As I said I didn’t know they were coming and I was involved in about every aspect of the music today so I wasn’t even able to sit with them. But I watched from a distance how Mark Schaefer went right up to the man and introduced himself and gave him a hearty handshake and I felt the touch of God go out through Mark. I watched after the service as we stood in the entry how Pastor Mark came over and introduced himself to every person (all and took time to hear their names and shake each hand…I love the way he notices kids…I could see how much that meant to their parents. It was one of those Sundays where I wouldn’t necessarily have invited them for their first sermon…it was a “State of the Church” sermon to go with Obama’s state of the union address…but it had to do with our church and the past year. Not necessarily a visitor’s sermon and yet I think they were incredbly impressed and left wanting more when they realized how much we give away as a church to outside ministries worldwide and locally. How much we support other churches and missions. Who knows what God spoke to their hearts about…and then Pastor mentioned that next week his sermon is going to be about money…and inside of me again I kind of cringed…not your please come back kind of sermon…but who knows, it is what it is and God will speak and move however He chooses. It’s not about what I think works and what I think is good.
I had to smile this morning…during the second service I went to say the verse before singing the first song and I had this feeling that my microphone wasn’t on (I have a big voice, so I don’t think it was too obvious…) so I turned it over and was able to get it going before the first song…then during my special song I was singing the song “Alway Enough” when literally half way through the song the microphone just stopped working again…the battery just went dead and again I had that feeling that it had gone out but what do you do…I just kept singing, I have a loud voice figured I would just make the best of it…Mike Aden ended up handing me his microphone during the song and we made the adjustment but I found myself loving how God right then and there was letting me know that He was enough. The good news is that when I sing, I’m never shooting for perfection and I don’t get tense or upset about those kind of things. Actually I tend to take notice and think God is showing Himself to be present…makes me curious to see what He’s going to do. Anyway…it all worked out and I was able to declare in a small way that God is enough regardless.
This morning in Sunday School we talked about the Israelites again and how they grumbled three days from them Red Sea experience and God gave them water…then mumbled and complained again later and God gave them manna and then even later grumbled and complained and God gave them fish enough to last for a month…to the point where they got sick on it. We talked about complaining, how God feels about it…are we supposed to complain ever, and if so how should we handle our complaints. It was a good conversation and one I hope I can put to good use. Grumbling is so contagious. Even if we just go to work and don’t complain we shine like stars for God that’s how uncommon it is to be around other people that aren’t complainers. Hopefully I can be a star for God.
I’m trying something for the next 28 days of February. Yesterday I talked about stuff…and I woke up last night thinking…my girls and I are taking a challenge this month (I volunteered them for the task:). We’re not going to buy anything beyond groceries and gas this month. No extra stuff…no going to Target to get toilet paper and coming home with five other items. No clothes, no dvd’s, no cd’s, no beauty extras, no toys, games, books, etc. No trips to Borders…that’s my big attachment…I love books!! But the issue is I have plenty at home that I haven’t even read yet. I’m feeling like I want to challenge the girls and I with at least one month where nothing we “want” that we really don’t “need” is purchased. It sounds really wimpy really…I mean what’s one month not shopping especially the shortest month of the year…but I have a feeling that will be a baby size step for us and may yield some good conversation and life lessons. I will tell you this though…last Friday I scheduled a massage for Monday night…and I’m still doing that:), just not coming home with any additional stuff. I could tell it was time for me to have some physical touch in my life, to be reminded of the need to take care of my body. And I always go back to the memory of Mark working it out for me while he was in his last months to go and have the same done. So now whenever I go I am reminded of that moment, the love I felt that day.
Anyway…hope your SUnday is going great!
Love,
Ruth

I think over all I live a fairly simple life…Live in a simple house, nothing grand but definitely adequate. Three bedrooms, two bathrooms…small yard that has very little grass left to mow:)…nothing grand about my furniture or decorations…and yet I often feel when I go to clean it all that I almost wish I could take everything out of my house and only bring back in things that actually get regular use. And I’m not a keeper of stuff…I regularly go through stuff, but still it seems to accumulate. It’s as if I work all week to buy stuff so that on the weekend I can work all weekend to get rid of stuff. Does that make any sense? I didn’t think so…didn’t make sense to me either but I have a feeling this is the American human condition, I don’t think this is just my issue.
Inside of me I really crave things to be simple, almost plain really. The older I get the less clutter I like to have and I definitely don’t want to add more things to dust. In my twenties I think this was totally different I actually “collected” things, added shelves to my home to put the collection of things on…my thirties came along and I was more than happy to pitch all the stuff I had collected in my twenties. The cycle is not exactly what I would consider a healthy cycle. Maybe Jesus had something when He said to not own anything but to just travel and not worry about stuff. I know I spend too much time on stuff, cleaning the stuff…feeling bad that I don’t use the stuff as much as I thought I would…moving the stuff around to try and make it fit better…eventually putting the stuff out to the street to hopefully have someone else come along and pick up my stuff that I no longer want. An incredible amount of time goes into the whole business of stuff management. I would like to put an end to it but am not sure how exactly:).
Last night I was reading about a group of guys on facebook who made a list of 100 things they want to do before they die…they’re in their twenties…so they work and go to school to get enough money together to then get in a bus and travel around the country doing this list of 100 things…in the mean time for every one thing they do on their list they help someone, a stranger do something on their list. It looks like they literally go up to strangers and simply ask them “What do you want to do before you die?” and then they try to help them accomplish one of those things…maybe it’s some kind of reunion or experience but somehow they help them accomplish something on their list. It all sounds pretty cool really and it looks like it’s actually become a tv show on MTV at this point.
At first when I was reading about them, I thought…ok yeah that works for guys in their twenties…I mean how many committments do they have, at some point real life kicks in…the endless routine of going to work, taking care of the house, the kids, etc. But then I realized…Ruth…that’s basically what you’re doing with your summers. You travel because you want to have those kind of experiences while you can. I’m taking mom to Israel…because it’s something I wanted her to be able to do before she dies. I’m taking my kids to all 50 states before they graduate because it’s something that I don’t know if they’ll be able to do once they’re on their own. After Mark died it just seemed like it was time to reevaluate some of the things I do in life…and figure out what does matter to me before I die. Overall…I would say it comes down to relationships…but their are definitely settings and situations that tend to cultivate those relationships more than others. So…that’s what I try to experience these days, that’s why I generally always bring family along or friends along in some way when we travel…all about making memories, noticing the moments in life. I’ll be curious to see what these same guys are doing ten years from now…if they settle into the normal family life thing. It seems like the twenty something people of today are wanting to break out of the traditional patterns of life that most of us follow (maybe I’m just getting old:).
So…it’s time to clear out my house…and clean it again…here goes…Have a great day.
Lauren and I went to see Sherlock Holmes last night…was pretty good, interesting if nothing else:).
Love,
Ruth

Sometimes I have these wierd thoughts, not that I would want them to be true…but every once in awhile I wish I knew that Jesus struggled with His weight…I wish I knew if He ever wasted a moment of time…I mean…my life is so full of normal, common struggles that I just can’t picture Jesus dealing with…maybe because He lived here in a different time and a different culture. I just want to know…at the end of the week, after a hard long week did he stop and reward Himself in some way…I mean admit it, we all do it…with food…checking out from our world with a book or a movie or tv, going shopping for things that we say we “need’…yeah right…I love listening to people justify what they “need” how often do I really need anything…pretty much never.
These thoughts came to me this morning as I took a short break from school, my plans are ready for next week…I feel on top of things for the most part…so I had a few moments to drop in at Bread Co. and have a cup of hot chocolate and a cinnamon roll…I needed them like I needed a hole in my head and I know it. As I sat there they tasted delicious but I couldn’t picture Jesus rewarding Himself the way I do…I reward myself with time…I tell my kids I need some time to myself…I go off and read a book, which basically means that I’m checking out of life for a couple of hours…I go to the store wander around until I find something that I’m sure I need…and the crazy thing is I see all kinds of people doing the same thing…then you get to the check out counter and they checker says…”Did you find everything you need…” ah…yes and a whole lot more generally speaking. I reward myself for getting through another day, reward myself for just about anything I can think of to reward myself with. What I want to know is did Jesus ever and I mean ever feel the need to reward Himself and if so what did He do?
These are just my ponderings while sitting at Bread Co. this morning. Now I need to reward myself with a walk on my treadmill!!

This week seemed so long…and I am so ready for the weekend…the sad thing is the weekend already looks so short and then it’s back to the same grind. Do you ever have those moments when it just feels like you’re a hamster on a wheel moving no where fast…

My kids wanted to do stuff with friends this weekend but truthfully I’ve had to crack down and once again go back to the policy that if we can’t be kind to each other at home then their’s no point in having other people get involved…until we can handle we three…no need to spread the disease. I don’t think we get enough sleep or something…The kids actually laid down for bed last night though at 7:45pm…and didn’t complain…maybe we need to do that every night.

Last night was the meeting about school cuts, I wasn’t able to go…didn’t really want to anyway, figured I would hear all I needed to hear in 5 minutes from other teachers that went. My job and the music situation overall seems to be fine. You know the crazy thing…part of me really felt like…if you need to let me go…well maybe I’ll actually stay home and write. Obviously that’s not meant to be…and I’m not sure exactly how that would pay the utility bills but it was a thought that flittered through my brain just for a moment. In reality, I’m grateful to have my job…grateful that it meets my needs and several wants as well…and grateful that I’m in a place where I seem to be a good match for the situation. And if you’re out of a job this paragraph may have been like hearing finger nails on a chalkboard…I apologize, I know many are out of work and need a job…I’m grateful really…it was just a passing thought.

So…this weekend…well I guess it will probably be about the normal house work kind of stuff…I lead music on Sunday morning so that’s an early morning for us. And I’m sure I’ll have some relaxing time thrown in…I’d just like to hibernate a little:). I am so glad that when I go back to work on Monday it will be FEBRUARY!! January is the worst month of the year in my mind…I’m glad to get it done.

Have a great weekend!
Love,
RUth

It’s another day…they just keep coming:). Another full day of music for me, followed by Lydia’s violen lesson tonight and a music appreciation dinner at our church. At least I don’t have to think about dinner tonight:).
This morning it dawned on me that I have a book by Philip Yancy on my shelf called “What’s so amazing about grace?” so I think I’m going to take a gander through that book and see if anything hits me to speak about in March. It was a book that I started at one point but have never finished…I am reading so many books at one time right now it’s a little crazy:). And I seem to be passing on the same way of reading to my daughter Lydia. I guess it works.
Got our flight info last night for going to Israel in June. My mom, sister and I will fly out of Detroit to JFK in New York City and then on to Tel Aviv, then on the way back we fly out of Cairo back through the same route. It’s becoming more real all the time as things are finalized. I also reserved my last hotel last night for the Europe trip that the girls and I are taking…it’s official we’re going to Venice. So…all that’s left is the train tickets which I can’t really do until May. Hopefully that means that things are in good order. In the mean time we’ve also planned a mini Dennings vacation around my nephew’s wedding in August. We’re all meeting up in Cinncinati and some of us are going to Kings Island the day before the wedding and to a Cincinnati Red’s game the day after so that will be fun. Always good to have some family time.
We’re all doing pretty good this week…tired out but I think that’s the normal mode of this time of year. January is almost over…yeah!!! It’s always good to see it go.
Have a great day!
Love,
Ruth

This morning I was reading in my devotional from Joshua 24:16-24 about when the people swore up and down that they would never forsake God. They would “never leave God to worship other gods.” And Joshua in vs. 19 actually tells the people…”You can’t do it: you’re not able to worship God. He is a holy God. He is a jealous God. He won’t put up with your fooling around and sinning…”And again in vs. 21 the people say with great enthusiasum…”No! No! We worship God!”
After reading the whole section I was supposed to consider the nature of the human heart. Of course as we all know…we are generally quick overall to proclaim our love our dedication and complete commitment…hence so many weddings…and other promises made…but we are also quick to break these very promises we have made…even when we’ve made them and honestly want to do what we’ve promised. We seem to have a finish it out problem…have you noticed that is a life principle that is sorely lacking in today’s world…keeping one’s word, finishing well, staying true to promises made. It’s the nature of the human heart.
Of course looking on at the Israelites I can see how fickle they are…I mean in the bible it seems like the promises and words are barely out of their mouths before they’re back to sinning and following after other gods. I read their commitment and find myself saying…”yeah, right” with a cynical expression…and yet I’m stopped in my tracks…how often has my zeal, enthusiasm worn off and I’ve gone back to old ways, how often have I made promises that I haven’t kept. The truth is…Joshua was right none of us can do it…worship God the way we really should. Got me thinking about grace…as I’ve mentioned it’s kind of on my mind anyway as I’m trying to think what God would want me to share in a month with ladies at our church…today this whole devotional stopped me in my tracks…made me think about the time when Lydia came up to me and after one of our times talking about what kind of man to look for in a husband someday she said “Mom…I’m not going to marry anybody unless you think they’re right for me.” I knew when she said it that her intentions and heart were speaking what she honestly felt in that moment, but as you and I both know…as much as I might want to speak into her life on that issue someday…I will probably have little opportunity and have to be careful as words I say could very well have the opposite effect. She will come to a place where she will want to make that decision…that doesn’t mean that she is terrible and that her words said to me today aren’t true…it just means that’s the nature of the human heart. And as her mom, I’ve already know that I will grant grace when it comes time for those words to possibly be broken. As parents we do it all the time…we see often where our kids are going to stumble…and we’re almost ready to extend grace before they even realize they need it. We love our kids…we don’t expect perfection…or at least we shouldn’t.
I believe in a high standard…have always felt that when the bar is set high kids rise. That’s how I teach…I have high expectations. THat’s how I parent…at the same time, I’m well aware that grace will come alongside the standard everytime…they have to work hand in hand.
I’m not sure quite how to put it…but God was speaking clearly to me this morning and I really wished I could’ve just sat down and thought and wrote…but I had a quick moment with God and then had to fly off to school. I guess today I’m in awe at how God’s grace is tailor made…He sets the standard high…no less than perfection…and yet He knows where I’ll fall already (time is no object to Him) and He already has grace sitting at that moment for me to receive. That’s an amazing God. He could say…you’re a failure, I give up on you…and yet…that’s not how He sees me even for one moment.
I think grace and the promises of God are tied together…what I mean is the areas in our life where we tend to struggle are generally the same areas that He gives us promises to cling to if we listen. One of my deepest fears…is growing old alone…and I find it fascinating that the promise given to me by God is “I will never leave you or forsake you”. I’m not even alone yet but He’s already given me the promise to sink my teeth into. I find it fascinating that I planned on a missions trip this summer to Europe and God worked it out…where I will be one adult traveling with two children…It’s as if He wants to prove to me that I will never be alone or forsaken…I have this crazy feeling that God is going to show up for me on that trip in ways I’ve never experienced Him. When I see His grace waiting for me in each and every situation I will ever face in my life…I don’t feel that it gives me license to go on sinning…instead it gives me freedom…freedom to fail…freedom to try and risk all I have…it gives me a safety net that lets me walk on the tight rope of life with confidence. And when I really start living that “on the edge” I’m amazed at how alive I feel…I’m amazed at the peace I experience…I’m excited to see what God will do next. God’s grace is not just something to cover our past…it does…and maybe the past is more your issue than mine…maybe you need to be reminded that His grace covers that…it’s not just about my present…although I do need God’s grace today…I’m bound to mess up somewhere today…but the amazing thing to me is God’s grace covers my future…He knows every day, every moment I’m going to have and rather than just saying to me…”Ruth you might as well throw in the towel…you’re a failure and you’ll never amount to much”. Instead…with a twinkle in His eye He reassures me that the passions and desires I have to live for Him today…will grow and mature as time goes by…my understanding of who He is will change…and just as I didn’t judge Lydia by her statement to me, even though I know she might have a total change of heart by the time she hits that age…God doesn’t judge me and say…”you’ll never measure up.” Through the grace of God, the blood of Jesus…I am covered…in the past, today and forever…Grace is waiting for me on every page of my story.
I guess what’s frustrating to me…is I so wanted to bask in the moment…wanted to think it through, figure out what was going on between God and me this morning and just didin’t have the time. And maybe I’m not communicating it very well…but somehow the subject of grace is weaving itself into every fiber of my being.
I think I would like to go through every song I know that mentions grace and write down the phrase that surrounds it. “Amazing Grace…”, “Your Grace is enough…”, “Wonderful grace of Jesus…” and about a thousand more. I want to come to know God more…

O.k. that’s where my mind and heart are today:). Now back to school…
Love,
Ruth

I’m tired tonight…Lydia actually came home and after dinner at 4:30 laid down and slept for probably three hours. Hopefully she’ll still sleep tonight:). Feels like it’s that time of year to hibernate or something.
I was missed at school yesterday…can I tell you, it’s good to know that people miss you when you’re not at your job. Yes they did fine…but it wasn’t the same…that may sound like I’m all about me…but I guess I’d like to think that things aren’t the same when I’m not there…otherwise what’s the point. I had one girl come up to me today and say…in an emphatic tone “Where were you yesterday?” like she was my parent or something and deserved to know my whereabouts at all hours…I just had to smile and say…”I guess you missed me”.
Tomorrow…it’s more of the same…and tomorrow night is Lauren’s drum lesson…we’re in that season of life right now where there doesn’t seem to be any big plans which is kind of nice, we need the down time now to compensate for the time coming this summer.
Lori told me tonight that my personality is full of adventure…you know it kind of made me think…I don’t think anybody would’ve said that about me as a child…I was a wallflower child, which means I simply blended into the wall…I don’t remember standing out in any way…but for some reason when I went to college I decided to go to a place no one I knew had been to 10 hours away from home and ever since that time…I think I’ve been becoming more and more adventurous. Obviously some of that has been forced on me…I didn’t intend to tour five countries with my two kids on my own…but sometimes things just happen that you can’t predict. I talked to Lauren about it tonight and she said…”Mom you’re definitely not status quo” I just had to smile…I guess part of me wants to not be status quo…I spent my whole childhood doing that…not that I want things to be all about me…but if I’m going to live and lose my life…than I want to do it with a splash that forces those around me to get wet too:). Lauren reminded me that their are good and bad things to being adventurous…poor girl, she’s been pulled along on enough of my adventures to know that their are bad parts:)…but she also told me the same could be said about the status quo…so anyway those are my deep thoughts from my almost teenage daughter tonight.
Hope your day was great…if you get a chance leave me a comment with a promise that God has given you…a special verse that God spoke into your life at just the right moment. A verse that gave you something to sink your finger nails into so that you could hang on when everything else broke loose. For me…the one that always comes to my mind is “I will never leave you or forsake you.” I guess I can be adventurous as long as I know I’m not alone. The promise of God’s presence has been exactly what I needed and need. I told my mom tonight that we are going to Europe this summer and that our original plans had fell through and how I was revamping the plan and she said…”Ruth I just wish you had another adult to go with you so you wouldn’t be alone.” I understand what she’s saying and no doubt there will be some complications along the way while I try and figure things out…but I am so grateful that I am never alone. No one can take that from me. That’s a promise to sink your nails into…How about you, what is God telling you, what promise is He whispering in your ear to get you through your storm, your reality? If you don’t have one…I can almost guarantee that He wants to give you one…you might just need to listen…and ask Him. God speaks…my life is not what it should or could’ve been…because God speaks.
Have a great day,
Ruth

I can officially say this…I love to travel but I could never be a travel agent. This trip is wearing me out with preparation, I know it will be worth it and I know it’s going to be great…but I have read more books on European countries that I care to admit…spent more time on Priceline.com than I care to admit…have surfed through way more than I want to again any time soon.
The good news is…I have all of our hotel reservations made and most of our plans made, reserved or at least have all of the necessary info gathered, I’ve planned the train schedules and fares…airplane tickets, etc. I’ve just basically written a three week intenerary for a NYC/European trip and I can tell you this…those people who plan the group travel things and make all of the arrangements…well I have a feeling they don’t get paid nearly enough…it’s hard work! So…looking around my house right now, even though I had the day off it would appear that I haven’t touched a thing…I have travel books everywhere, etc. but I have to say that I’m thankful at this point to be in good shape.
I can tell you for sure at this point we are going to Budapest, Venice, Salzburg, Munich and Zurich…no changes now. And everything is planned…I’ve even already got our tickets to get on the ferry to see the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island in NYC…that’s how planned out I am:)…actually I just try to avoid the lines so if I can get them in advance that’s what I do.

So…now back to my real life in my real world in real time…tomorrow it’s back to school. Lydia seems to be doing fine now thankfully. We’ve had some fun today playing the game “Dutch Blitz” a card game that Debbie Batton got us…it’s definitely been entertaining.

Looks like we might get some cold weather again later this week…maybe even some freezing rain…we are so ready to see some sun, this has been one of the grayest January’s we’ve had. Planning for summer trips helps.

Hope your day was great!
Love,
Ruth

It’s a new week…and I’m at home today. Lydia came home from church last night not feeling too great, running a low fever…I had already been thinking about taking today off to go in and get a blood test done that I was supposed to do sometime soon…so I just decided I might as well. So…I’ve just spent the morning running around posting signs for honor choir to be canceled, making sure things were laid out at both of my schools for a sub and getting Lauren off to school. Blood test is done which is nice since that required fasting…and I’m a breakfast kind of person. So now I have the rest of the day…I’m sure I’ll do a little housecleaning, that’s an everyday job…would also like to read more and plan more for our trip coming up and spend some time with Lydia.
I think that I’m starting to lean more towards Venice over Paris. I’ve read quite a few Rick Steve’s books now and Paris is the only book so far where he repeatedly warns about people pickpocketing, trying to con you etc. And for whatever reason I just had this uneasy feeling while I read about it, like it might be a great place to go when I’m with a group…but a little more than I want to bargain for with just the girls and I. So…that’s my thought as of now.
Last night at church the Vespers service was about how God leads…through supernatural and natural ways, how we hear the voice of God…I find it interesting that while there are some similiarities between us, God is also personal enough that He speaks to each of us uniquely, at the right moment with the right message to get our attention if we are looking and listening. The ways listed were things like, visible signs, angels, and other supernatural things like hearing a voice audibly, for most of us the natural is a lot more likely to occur…when we’re performing our duty…the regular mundane stuff, and being faithful in it God often speaks, through other people, through His Word, through a sense of peace, a still small voice. This one wasn’t on the list but for me…through travel. Last night when I sat on the pew thinking about when I’ve heard God most clearly I realized the visual pictures and moments that came to my mind were almost always times when I was traveling somewhere…I remember singing with Worship music while I was driving through Mountains out west, it was on a Sunday and I realized although I wasn’t in a church building I was having church in God’s house. I can think of a lot of times when I’ve heard from God while driving down the road, and seeing various things in creation that are so incredible…redwoods, the ocean, mountains, wildlife, flowers, etc. I am also finding that God speaks to me right now daily through the devotional I’m doing this year. It’s the first devotional that I have gotten to be a part of my daily routine and I would actually miss it if I didn’t do it…I’m hearing from God daily during that time…I’ve often done devotionals, read the bible and not really gotten any direct application out of it or felt that it was dry but for whatever reason this one this year feels different to me. Is it like that for you Mary Anne and Lori?
Anyway, it was a good service, and I’m thankful that God does speak…in fact I saw a quote last night that made sense to me “We do not pray persistently for God to hear us…we do it so that we can hear from Him.” I thought that was good. I have a problem thinking that we need to keep repeating the same thing, getting louder, more emotional or whatever to get God’s attention…I don’t believe that’s how God is…but maybe I need to repeat the prayer for me to hear what God is saying about it. That doesn’t mean that He doesn’t speak the first time I pray it…but it could mean that it takes me awhile to tune in:).
In March I’m doing a ladies talk at my church on the topic of “grace”…I’m drawing a bit of a blank…curious to see what God will lead me to say. I’m thinking about the process of giving grace to others and also receiving grace. Last night as I lay in bed thinking the phrase that came back to me from the bible was “My grace is sufficient for you”. Again the whole idea that God is enough…I like the word sufficient…doesn’t mean in excess or overflowing…but it does mean that for whatever my need is…God is enough…and for whatever your need is God is enough. Tailor made grace, exactly where we need it on an individual basis from an Almighty God. Pretty amazing…I’ll keep thinking…and listening and see what I’m led to…have a month and a half to put it together:).
Have a great day!
Love,
Ruth

Rick Steves and I are becoming good friends…The relationship is pretty much one sided I guess…but I feel like I’m traveling all over the place with him:). I’ve been fully immersed this weekend into Rick Steves travel books from Europe…Lydia asked me…”Mom how can you read those books” I admit it, they’re thick, have no story line and are not exactly what I would call easy reading…but somehow when you know it’s your only lifeline to make a trip work they suddenly become readable. So…I’m starting to make some definite plans…which means starting to actually make up an intinerary and make actual reservations that I’m committed to. Yesterday I reserved out hotel in Budapest for three nights…I had no idea until yesterday that Budapest is actually two cities that the Danube river intersects through, the one side is called “Buda” the other is “Pest”…we’re actually staying in Pest right beside the Danube river…looks beautiful from what I can tell. I also had no idea that our main attraction there will probably be their “baths”, they have underground springs everywhere in that area so their baths are a big thing…my kids immediately panicked wondering if people would be nude…while some places are like that…the place where we plan to go is not…swimsuits are a good thing:). They have a City Park that looks a lot like our Forest Park in St. Louis and I can see the kids and I spending time there. They also have an island called Margaret Island that looks like a lot of fun to walk or bike around…no cars are allowed. And various other places that I’m sure we’ll walk by of historical significance. I try to balance out what the kids can actually enjoy with what’s unique to the area and go from there. So…our first three nights are officially reserved in Pest. From there our next plan is to train to Salzburg, Austria for three nights…we’re going to take a walking tour that Rick Steves has set up in his book with places like Mozart’s residence and birth place, etc. Salztburg sounds like a quaint touristy city, cobblestone streets and all. And then we’re definitely doing the Sound of Music tour…couldn’t miss that. After that we’re taking the train to Munich where we will stay for two nights. I think we’ll rent some bikes and see the city that way…they seem to have a really nice bike trail, and then I think we’re going to take what will be a fairly heavy tour but I think necessary to the Dachua Concentration Camp. Lydia already asked me if I’m going to cry there…to which I responded…possibly…or more likely probably…but I think tears are in order for some things in life…and we need to remember. Do you know that as I was reading about that camp I discovered that every single German student is required to visit a concentration camp…wow…that sure would be quite a field trip…nothing like the trips we take here. After that two days we’re headed to Paris…that’s where my reading has left off so far…I need to read about Paris and Zurich today and figure out what the remainder of our time in NYC will be about. I’m trying to balance activity with relaxing time. I know in New York City we’ll go to Ellis Island, see the statue of Liberty, walk around Times Square…beyond that I’m not sure…we’ll see.
I’m getting excited about it though…learning about euros and hungarian money, trying to become savvy about taking the trains and getting where we will need to go without too much problem. Time differences, amounts to tip, culture and traditions in each place…etc. This will all be quite an experience and I never dreamed that the kids and I would do it without a tour group or something…but I think we’ll be alright…Priceline.com is a great tool. I was excited last night to be able to reserve the hotel in Budapest which is a five star place for $56 a night. It’s good to be able to see where we will be based at and know it looks comfortable. Some people travel without having accomodations set up and just get there and make the decision there…but for me that’s stress I don’t want. I need to know when I arrive I have a place to lay my stuff and my head:).

Anyway…that’s what’s going on at my house this weekend. Yesterday Lauren and I also had fun straightening each other’s hair…that’s a new step for me, it’s the first time that I put a 400 degree tool in her hands to use on my hair and she did a great job…never burned me and she actually made my hair look decent…I can see us doing that more in the future…We just put in a movie and straightened for about two hours. She’s growing up!

Today it’s church…possibly a nap…and Paris and Zurich…at least that’s my initial plan first thing this morning…plans change so we’ll see.

Yesterday I went to a funeral in the morning and was reminded about how before a person dies forgiveness is a theme that I think is universal…the person dying wants to be forgiven and wants to grant forgiveness. WHen Sonny shared about his mom dying it was this same theme and I can remember the same thing with Mark. A person dying and the people left behind want to tye up any loose ends, have a clean slate, everything resolved. Kind of like in music…when you get to that last chord you want it to sound resolved, that’s the only way it is pleasing to the ear. I think for all of us that is a lesson that we need to learn…it shouldn’t have to take death…to bring us to that point of desiring peace with each other and ourselves…we can live in that kind of forgiveness everyday…we can hear that resolved chord in our life at the end of each day…why would we choose to live any other way?
Have a great day!
Ruth

Last night the girls and I went to Edwardsville to eat and to Borders to look at our favorite thing…books. I am so thankful that on the way, probably about half way there it dawned on me that although I had my purse I had left my wallet at school in a drawer. So we turned around to go back to school to go get it. I could’ve so easily gone to the restaurant and ordered, ate and then panicked. But as it turned out we just had an extra long car ride to the restaurant:). We talked last night about what the girls see themselves doing someday in the future. We talked about college, careers, families, etc. I don’t remember ever talking to my mom about those kind of things, I’m not sure why exactly, maybe it just didn’t come up. We talked about what we could each see in each other, personality issues, gifts, abilities, desires, etc. And in the end…although Lauren has never said this before herself…she realized last night that she is really hoping to be a stay at home mom living a simple life out in the country. I told her that she still needed to go to college…I can always throw up my life story for them to realize the importance of having something to support you so that regardless of what happens in life you’ll be alright. Even my mom who was and is a stay at home mom has a teaching degree…Lydia…has decided to go back to the idea of teaching…she goes back and forth between nursing and teaching but I think teaching might just be her niche. She loves the schedule:)…and she can’t wait to write on those white boards and overheads:). She’s organized, loves to read and learn and likes kids so we’ll see. I think she thinks she’ll probably work even after having kids…her whole goal is to live next door to me and that when she starts having a family…I’ll be retired and I can watch her babies:). We’ll see how that plays out. There has been a house across the street from me for sale for a couple years now and she’s decided if it’s still up for sale when she marries that’s where she wants to live. I’ve mentioned she might have to consult her husband on that one…:) but somehow I think once a man falls for her she’ll have him twisted around her little finger, she’s just that kind of girl, fairly persuasive.
We often talk about what to look for in a husband for each of them…again these are not things that I talked about with my mom at all. Maybe nobody talked about those kind of things back then but it does seem strange to me. So it was nice to have the car ride, extra long:)…to talk about the future and then we were able to go to Red Robin and have a good dinner.
I ended up picking up some more Europe travel books at Borders. Lauren commented to me last night that I need to stop changing my mind about where we’re going and what we’re doing…but I told her…I’m still in the idea phase…I mean I have two weeks to plan for and a lot of uncharted territory so I’m trying to figure out what makes sense before making any reservations I will regret. I am coming to the conclusion that some places are trips in themselves…for example…someday maybe we’ll just come back to Ireland/Scotland and England as a two week trip in itself…and Italy…I think that country could be a two week trip in itself, between Venice, Rome, Sicily, Florence, Milan, Tuscany. Greece…well that could be another two week trip in itself. So…I think those three areas will wait…no point in going there and feeling frustrated that we didn’t get to see much. And lately I’ve been having people tell me about Germany more…which is a place I thought I might skip…but am considering now. So…my latest plan is to fly into Budapest, train to Vienna, Austria, train to Saltzburg, Austria (and no kidding, take the sound of music tour…I hear it’s a hoot:), train to Munich Germany, and then on to Paris France and then back to Zurich Switzerland to fly home. It’s less miles covered…but might make more sense and give us plenty to see and do. So…this weekend I’m researching…reading…trying to narrow down if this will be the plan.
Last night I wrote down 7 trips that I hope to do at some point in my life…
The first three are the ones I mentioned in the previous paragraph
1. Greece
2. Italy
3. Ireland/Scotland/England
the next four are closer to home…
1. Alaska
2. Hawaii
3. Northeast States and Canada by Amtrak
4. One more out west road trip to hit the things we missed before…colorado, utah, Yosemite, Glacier National Park, Nebraska and North Dakota:)
I have no idea when we’ll do these and if never we’ll live, but these are some of my goals as far as travel goes.

Today…I’m headed out to the memorial service at church for the Schardan family…it’s a time when I want to communicate my love through my actual presence. And then I’m coming home and spending the rest of the day hopefully at home…the usual house stuff…and trip planning should fill the day.

Today I read in my devotions about taking care of the orphans, widows, the neighbor who has borrowed and can’t pay back, the destitute and God’s reminder to them to remember where they came from out of Egypt and how He delivered them and so therefore they should give grace to the above and not demand repayment. I was confronted with the truth that I tend to want to filter through the list and choose who deserves to be given grace and who doesn’t, sounds arrogant when I put it into words like that…but I think it’s probably true in my heart…I mean I look at orphans and widows and feel they have no choice in the matter…it’s what life has dealt them. For some who are destitute and it seems like they’ve lived one bad choice to another…I don’t tend to have as much compassion. I’m not sure that God weighs it out like that…He didn’t try to say…o.k. figure out if they messed themselves up and if they did…leave them out in the cold…it seems to be a blanket generosity and kindness issue…that challenges me to let go of my judgments…which seems to be the heart of the issue. I am to remember how God has brought me out of sin and delivered me…sometimes I think that’s hard to do when you asked Jesus into your life and have been living a Christian life for your entire life…I’m thankful to have not experienced a lot of the stuff people do when they make that decision as an adult rather than a child…but remembering…it’s not as if I look back at my six year old self and remember being carried away and delivered from a sinful life. So…judgment becomes easy, yes I have experienced the grace of God along the way…everyday I’m sure…but I didn’t experience the dramatic Red Sea crossing conversion that some have. Regardless I do know this and read it again today…God’s blessing rests on those who take care of the widow, the orphan, the destitute, the neighbor in need…and that’s something that I can respond to…I want God’s blessing in my life.

Those are just some of the thoughts going on in my head today:)
Love,
Ruth
Have a great day!