The Jackson Family Online

It’s Wednesday, half way through the week and I guess I should take some comfort in that…I”m trying:). Woke up last night with a terrible headache…it’s incredibly frustrating to lay in bed knowing that an hour of lost sleep is going to really hurt in the morning…so you lay there thinking about how much you need to get back to sleep which prevents you from falling back to sleep…I guess I eventually wore myself out of that whole process and collapsed once again.
Yesterday…the guys in my choir weren’t doing so hot…it’s so hard to get middle school boys to sing out and they’re always out numbered compared to the girls…so I ended up making a few uncomfortable and maybe even upset with me as I was trying to encourage them to sing. I’m hoping today will be a better day for that situation and that God will give me some wisdom.

The whole stuff thing…the girls and I have been talking quite abit about it…we just had a group go to Nicaragua from church and of course they came back telling how poor everybody is down there and of course it tugs at everybody’s heart strings, which is normal, should be that way, that’s a big reason why we even take people to third world countries, to open the eyes of people to real poverty. That being said…I think it then becomes way to easy to associate no stuff with a life to be pitied….and those of us who have stuff coming out our ears to be associated with a life of bliss. I have not always found this to be true. Just look at the celebrities in our country…who could possibly have more stuff and rare is it that their personal lives are anything good. Yes basic needs have to be met for their to be a sense of safety and security…but I think you can live on a shoestring and have joy…in fact in some ways and in some countries it may be easier than living on our surplus and trying to keep up with the Jones and living in debt that’s out of control. If we were all honest with each other…we’re not nearly as free as we would like to think we are…most people carry signficant debt, like having a monkey on your back. Throw in how much we eat out, etc. and then you have the health issues that go along with that. So…I guess my word for today is to keep in mind what’s on the outside only goes so far…there is so much more going on below the surface and that’s what real life is all about. Who knows…maybe those in other countries should be “pitying” us…just a thought.

Tonight is Lauren’s drum lesson…beyond that an early to bed I hope. Believe it or not we’re already getting class lists and schedules ready for next fall…that seems hard to believe. But February is flying by and I find myself hoping that we’re ready for contests in March. Those events are my least favorite.

Last night before I went to bed I was reading another chapter in an Anne Lammot book and I have to tell you I was broken hearted by the end of it. I understand that we’re not all going to agree on things and I’ve enjoyed her books anyway…the stories are funny and real, the truths that come out worth thinking about. But some of her political views and views on hot button topics are really out there. Or I guess I should say they’re really out there for this midwest girl. Anne is from the San Francisco area. And she is very Pro-choice. I don’t think abortion is the only issue that God cares about…but I can’t for a moment believe that God is pro-choice. It broke my heart as she wrote about having abortion (s) which led me to wonder how many she’s had…and in the same sentence to talk about her son and I know she loves him…but to act as if the abortions had no effect on her whatsoever and that she was almost doing them afavor by not allowing them to enter this life. Then she had a chapter on assisting someone who was terminally ill die. I’m all for allowing those terminally ill the pain medicine that will help them go in comfort…but to actually set up the time and day of death…boy that sure gets into some scary territory to me. I guess I’m just telling you all of this because if you happen to choose to read one of her books…keep in mind that you will have to do some sifting through it…take the truth and leave the rest. She never talks about hell and that concerns me…she tends to write in a way where I get the feeling that she believes that it’s o.k. that we’re messed up (which I would agree with…all have sinned) but in the process she can’t seem to believe that anybody would perish regardless of whether they’ve made a personal decision to let Jesus be the Lord of their life or not…this doesn’t seem like truth to me…I have to come back to the fact that Jesus said “I am the way, the truth and the life…” Just know that if you pick up one of her books which I do really enjoy…you will be forced to sort out what you really believe…for me that’s worth the process and something that I want to do…but not everybody is going to feel that way I’m sure.

Lori and I had smal lgroup last night which was good…we’ve been going through a book called Breaking Free…and we’re starting to get into some interesting territory for me…looking back at your grandparents, your parents and seeing why you are the way you are…what passes down from generation to generation (and taking an honest look at what I’m passing down to my kids) good and bad things pass down, personality traits, etc. situations and circumstances that change the course of who you are…abuse, etc. doesn’t just effect the one person involved. For example…I can tell you this…I’m still dealing with slavery in my classroom everyday at school…I’m amazed at the resentment, anger, etc that is present and I think it comes from generations ago and as crazy as it sounds is still something that needs to be healed in many african american people. We white people tend to think, what’s the big deal…I mean we weren’t around then…but it is a big deal…it all passes down. The bible talks about this…so anyway…I’m interested in learning more about who I am and why I am the person I am…not for someone to blame…but so that I can get a better picture of the life God wants for me.
Something to think about.

Have a great day,
Ruth